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Unkle Munky Pg 112
Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions. ---- This week Munky doesn't care... Artist - Machines Don't Care. Song - Beat Bang (Trevor Loveys Dub). *Click here to play... *Videos prone to removal. ---- An Announcement. Munky is currently attempting to save Woolworths (Pick n Mix section) and hopes to be back in the near future. ---- The Near Future. Unkle Munky says -''' I feel sick... ---- All Shook Up. Lisa from Belfast asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Is it true that 80's pop sensation, Shakin' Stevens, has recently been forced to change his stage name? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Lisa, I can confirm that a severe bout of arthritis has recently given Mr. Stevens cause to amend his familiar stage name. *Gig cancelled due to a Lemon Bon Bon shortage. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Oh fer god's sake, Munky! That's not Achin' Stevens!'' 'Unkle Munky replies -' Really? ''Ms. Motion Sickness says - No! That's Simon Bowel from Magnum P.I. fame!'' 'Unkle Munky replies -' But I thought Magnum had a moustache? ''Ms. Motion Sickness says - It was a stunt moustache. It's currently working for George Clooney of handsome fame.'' 'Unkle Munky says -' Well I'm glad we cleared that up. ---- Snow Way. Brian from Findern asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my meteorological query regarding Africa? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Brian, I did indeed receive said correspondence. My sources have confirmed that there won't be snow in Africa this Xmas time. You might be relieved to hear, however, that I have recently contacted Sir Bob Geldof with regards to organising a fund raising event, similar to that of 1985, to pay for a new snow machine. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Oh fer Christ's sake!''' *Pictured: ''Wembley - Summer 1985. Bob Geldof demonstrates the snow machine that he hopes will finally provide Africa with its first white Xmas. '' ---- Munky's HeadLies. ---- Signing On. John from Yeovil asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I was recently sacked from the BBC for having big hands. Can I make a claim? '''Unkle Munky says -' Dear John, It would appear that the BBC have been inundated with complaints regarding your huge hands. Apparently they have a tendency to infringe upon the programmes you are signing. It is for this reason alone that your contract has been terminated. *Pictured: John signing films for the hard of hearing (Star Wars). ---- Bungle's Barely News. ---- Teapot Erotica. Matt from Birmingham asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Did you receive my email regarding Teapot Erotica? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Matt, I did indeed receive said email. Teapot Porn is becoming increasingly difficult to obtain as it is still generally perceived as being far too risqué a genre to promote. I have, however, been successful in obtaining this erotic example of a 1970's white ceramic piece by Spodes of Staffordshire. Matt replies - Phooooaaarrrr. ---- Health & Safety. Harriet from Perth asks - Dear Unkle Munky, My son is taking part in a school nativity play tonight. I have it on good authority that a real donkey will be used in the stable scene. Surely there are health and safety risks to consider with regards to such a practice. 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Harriet, I have spoken to my health & safety advisor (Wary Canary) and he informs me that the donkey in question has received all of his inoculations. With this in mind it is very unlikely that he will contract any viruses from your son. Harriet replies - Oh fer god's sake! It's my son I'm worried about, not the manky fuckin' flea bitten old donkey! *Pictured:'' A manky fuckin' flea bitten old donkey.'' ---- UK Munky Gold + 1 In this week's episode: B. A. Baracus helps Murdock to express himself with a selection of colour co-ordinated scatter cushions. ---- Next... Previous... Return to Munky Menu...